I've been giving some thought to a comment made a couple of weeks ago regarding how one makes yoga a part of one's life when one has a physical condition that doesn't seem to be fit for it.
I have been in Turkey teaching on a retreat for people with ME and the answer came to me as I guided people who are seriously ill through their yoga sequence. Yoga is about being not doing. It isn't about what we do, it isn't about how amazing each posture looks on the mat, it isn't about how deeply we move in that posture or comparing ourselves with what is happening on our neighbour's mat. It is about making each movement, however small, with complete mindfulness. Thinking about each movement, synchronising it with the breath, thinking no further ahead than the next breath. How does the breath feel? How do I feel? Stop chasing that elusive "perfect" posture and enjoy where you are right now.
The more we become obsessed with doing the further we alienate ourselves from being - and in being lies our true happiness. Liberation is not about getting one's leg behind one's head. Liberation is being fully aware of each day and alive to each dawn.
This is the body I have been born with. I celebrate that every day both on and off my yoga mat.
Friday 31 October 2008
Thursday 9 October 2008
Asana of the Week - Uttanasana
Forward bends, both seated and standing, can be problematic when you have back conditions, especially scoliosis. Rather than bringing length into the back they can cause compression on the side to which the scoliosis curves and tight hamstrings can just exacerbate the problem. It is usually recommended that standing forward bends be done against the wall for most people with scoliosis, but there is a way of getting a great lower back stretch from a standing forward bend without having to go to the wall.
Stand with the big toe joints together (or a fist width apart if that feels unbalanced) and feel the weight evenly through the soles of both feet.
Inhale, lifting the arms forward and up alongside the ears, lifting the waist out of the hips and the neck out of the shoulders - feel the length is even in both sides of the body/ribcage.
As you exhale, bend the knees a lot (we're concentrating on backs here, not hamstrings - we'll talk about them next week!), stretching forward with the arms, keeping the length in the body as you release abdomen on to the thighs then release the head and neck. Feel the stretch in the lower back. You may feel that the two sides of the back are uneven so stay in position for a breath or too to even out the length.
To come up, inhale and stretch the arms forward again to maintain the length in the sides of the body. Only start to straighten the knees half way through the inhale -- stretching the fingertips up to the ceiling again.
Exhale the arms down by the sides concentrating on maintaining that length.
Repeat 3-5 times to get a really good stretch in the lower back.
And enjoy each breath.
Namaste
Stand with the big toe joints together (or a fist width apart if that feels unbalanced) and feel the weight evenly through the soles of both feet.
Inhale, lifting the arms forward and up alongside the ears, lifting the waist out of the hips and the neck out of the shoulders - feel the length is even in both sides of the body/ribcage.
As you exhale, bend the knees a lot (we're concentrating on backs here, not hamstrings - we'll talk about them next week!), stretching forward with the arms, keeping the length in the body as you release abdomen on to the thighs then release the head and neck. Feel the stretch in the lower back. You may feel that the two sides of the back are uneven so stay in position for a breath or too to even out the length.
To come up, inhale and stretch the arms forward again to maintain the length in the sides of the body. Only start to straighten the knees half way through the inhale -- stretching the fingertips up to the ceiling again.
Exhale the arms down by the sides concentrating on maintaining that length.
Repeat 3-5 times to get a really good stretch in the lower back.
And enjoy each breath.
Namaste
Friday 4 July 2008
A little bit of publishing success
I have had a short article on Yoga and Scoliosis published in Yoga and Health magazine. Step one I think! I haven't actually seen the article yet but Liz is bringing me a copy on Monday.
Wednesday 18 June 2008
On Yoga and M.E.
I spent this last weekend on a course entitled "Teaching Yoga to People with ME and CFS". I haven't been on such an uplifting, insightful and balanced course in a long time. It helped me to understand who I am outside of having ME, Fibro, even outside of having scoliosis. To step away from the illness and become Rachel once again.
There were 8 of us on the course, 5 of us who had ME, all of us who had suffered from some form of chronic fatigue at some point in our lives. Particularly interested to finally discuss the difference between what ME is and what CFS is. The conclusion being that the black dog that has followed me around for the last 18 years is ME. This is a tiredness that is more than tiredness, that cannot be described, that is coupled with an inability to sleep and a brain working like you've done 5 lines of coke washed down with 10 double espresssos, never knowing if you're hot or cold and never knowing what's going to bring this all on again next time. CFS on the other hand is more of an umbrella term for the chronic tiredness (times 1000000) that comes about as a secondary condition to things like grief, MS, cancer, breakdown, fibromyalgia (yay double whammy for me!!) and depression. Although talking about these definitions made me wonder about the helpfulness of them. Of the 5 of us with ME on the course I was surprised by the wide variety of symptoms we all displayed. I have never really suffered from the "brainfog", the lack of concentration that makes it impossible for ME sufferers to read a book, or follow a simple TV series. I count myself as blessed for that because without books and cake I don't know how I'd have got this far! Nobody else had the pain to the extent I do, the pain so bad that some days you can't get down the stairs. A very fine line between the muscle ache of ME and the pain of Fibro. So no wonder this is so difficult to diagnose, no wonder it took drs so long to even acknowledge it's existence. Plus of course, from a yogic perspective by labelling our suffering we are giving it a past and a future. We are making it something real. The point of using yoga as a healing tool is to be in the present moment. This is where I am today. Accept that. How I was last week, how I will be next week is of now import right now. Accept this is how we feel. Who cares what it's called! For purposes of reference however the black dog will be known as ME for the rest of this post!
ME comes out of nowhere and hits you with a hammer (in my case it all started with a six week long sore throat) and can start with a virus, with a breakdown, with a sudden change in your life, with toxins and pesticides (as I've always suspected mine to have been), or with just not listening to your body when you need to rest.
We live in a material culture; one in which having the incredible job, the incredible house and the plethora of material possessions that go with it make us who we are. But to maintain these we need money, so we need to keep working harder and harder. It is frowned upon to have time off when we're sick so we plough on and on and on and never rest properly. When we do get a break, we cover the exhaustion with the TV, or a bottle of wine or too much shit food. Then we crash and burn. I should know, I've been there enough times.
Which is why I gave up work, which is why I eat only organic, which is why I try and nap in the afternoons. Because slowly slowly I want to be able to come to an acceptance of my illness. To come out of denial (which I suspect I've been in for nearly 20 years), to grieve the youth I perhaps didn't quite get to have and accept myself, as I am right here and right now, using yoga, breath and meditation. I'm beginning to learn the importance of pacing myself; a person with ME should do only 50% of what they think they are capable or they will have no energy reserves for the rest of the week. I'm paying the price for years and years of running on empty but feel I have a second chance to start to bring myself into a place of healing.
I affirm to look after myself and bring myself into a state of acceptance.
Whilst exhausting (the irony! A course on ME and none of us can get out of bed afterwards -- plus I had mums and babies this morning) it was very rewarding, I met some fantastic people and have some great opportunities from it both for my own practice and for furthering my career.
You see that competitive Type A personality never dies - it just gets ME!
ME comes out of nowhere and hits you with a hammer (in my case it all started with a six week long sore throat) and can start with a virus, with a breakdown, with a sudden change in your life, with toxins and pesticides (as I've always suspected mine to have been), or with just not listening to your body when you need to rest.
We live in a material culture; one in which having the incredible job, the incredible house and the plethora of material possessions that go with it make us who we are. But to maintain these we need money, so we need to keep working harder and harder. It is frowned upon to have time off when we're sick so we plough on and on and on and never rest properly. When we do get a break, we cover the exhaustion with the TV, or a bottle of wine or too much shit food. Then we crash and burn. I should know, I've been there enough times.
Which is why I gave up work, which is why I eat only organic, which is why I try and nap in the afternoons. Because slowly slowly I want to be able to come to an acceptance of my illness. To come out of denial (which I suspect I've been in for nearly 20 years), to grieve the youth I perhaps didn't quite get to have and accept myself, as I am right here and right now, using yoga, breath and meditation. I'm beginning to learn the importance of pacing myself; a person with ME should do only 50% of what they think they are capable or they will have no energy reserves for the rest of the week. I'm paying the price for years and years of running on empty but feel I have a second chance to start to bring myself into a place of healing.
I affirm to look after myself and bring myself into a state of acceptance.
Whilst exhausting (the irony! A course on ME and none of us can get out of bed afterwards -- plus I had mums and babies this morning) it was very rewarding, I met some fantastic people and have some great opportunities from it both for my own practice and for furthering my career.
You see that competitive Type A personality never dies - it just gets ME!
Thursday 27 March 2008
Soft belly, soft face
We're a nation of chest breathers. Like it or not, know what I'm talking about or not, it's probably true!
Take a look and see; sit comfortably and connect with the breath, try to make the inhale and the exhale as even and steady and smooth as possible, take as long as you need. Now, place one hand on the lower belly and one on the chest and begin to feel a connection between these two points of the body, connecting them with the rhythm of the breath. Finally, bring the awareness to the movement of the two hands. Is the lower hand moving more than the upper; or is the hand on the chest moving more than the hand on the belly? If the latter, you like so many, are a chest breather.
I used to commit this terrible crime to my breath, breathing in short shallow bursts no deeper than the tops of my lungs. It's common in sufferers of scoliosis -- our lowered thoracic capacity coupled with the tension in our shoulders and upper backs from the pain brings it on. But it's not just scoliosis that is responsible for breathing into the chest. We all carry so much tension in our upper bodies; necks and shoulders especially and we're all in such a rush to go anywhere that we breath short, sharp breaths -- just enough to give our bodies the oxygen they need to get through the day. But it's never quite enough and the lack of oxygen brings on tiredness, headaches, irritablity and exacerbates that stress in the shoulders and neck. Phew! And all we need to do is take a little time each day to be aware of our breath, be aware of what it is doing, and let that belly be soft!
Flat bellies eh? Overrated. Yes, yes I know, tight abs are meant to look good, and if you've not got them hold them in with miracle pants. But who says that this looks good? While I'm not advocating fat bellies I am advocating loosening the belt, throwing out the miracle pants, giving up on the ab crunches and forgetting the six pack. It's deep transversus abdominal stength that matters, not surface hardness -- surface hardness merely stops us breathing fully into the belly and deep transversus abdominal strength is helped by deep breathing.
To breath fully we need to engage the diaphragm. This membrane that separates the thoracic cavity from the abdominal cavity moves up and down on the exhale and inhale. As you inhale fully the diaphragm pushes down on the abdominal organs and the soft belly expands, as you exhale the reverse happens and the belly contracts slightly again. When the belly is moving more than the chest, the diaphragm is working, the breath is more full and you'll be surprised how much calmer and more refreshed this can make you feel.
It takes time and a little effort to break down old breathing habits. It needs 10-15 minutes a day set aside to work with the breath. The most effective practice I have ever found is lying on the floor on your back, the knees bent, feet flat on the floor and hands resting lightly on the lower belly feeling the movements. Try to keep the inhale and exhale the same length and slowly slowly with practice start to relax that belly.
And the best way to relax the lower abdomen enough to allow the diaphragm to work to its full potential is to relax tension elsewhere in the body, especially the face. Let go of the tension in the teeth, jaw, tongue, eyes and the point between the eyebrows. Soft face, soft belly.... and enjoy breathing again!
Take a look and see; sit comfortably and connect with the breath, try to make the inhale and the exhale as even and steady and smooth as possible, take as long as you need. Now, place one hand on the lower belly and one on the chest and begin to feel a connection between these two points of the body, connecting them with the rhythm of the breath. Finally, bring the awareness to the movement of the two hands. Is the lower hand moving more than the upper; or is the hand on the chest moving more than the hand on the belly? If the latter, you like so many, are a chest breather.
I used to commit this terrible crime to my breath, breathing in short shallow bursts no deeper than the tops of my lungs. It's common in sufferers of scoliosis -- our lowered thoracic capacity coupled with the tension in our shoulders and upper backs from the pain brings it on. But it's not just scoliosis that is responsible for breathing into the chest. We all carry so much tension in our upper bodies; necks and shoulders especially and we're all in such a rush to go anywhere that we breath short, sharp breaths -- just enough to give our bodies the oxygen they need to get through the day. But it's never quite enough and the lack of oxygen brings on tiredness, headaches, irritablity and exacerbates that stress in the shoulders and neck. Phew! And all we need to do is take a little time each day to be aware of our breath, be aware of what it is doing, and let that belly be soft!
Flat bellies eh? Overrated. Yes, yes I know, tight abs are meant to look good, and if you've not got them hold them in with miracle pants. But who says that this looks good? While I'm not advocating fat bellies I am advocating loosening the belt, throwing out the miracle pants, giving up on the ab crunches and forgetting the six pack. It's deep transversus abdominal stength that matters, not surface hardness -- surface hardness merely stops us breathing fully into the belly and deep transversus abdominal strength is helped by deep breathing.
To breath fully we need to engage the diaphragm. This membrane that separates the thoracic cavity from the abdominal cavity moves up and down on the exhale and inhale. As you inhale fully the diaphragm pushes down on the abdominal organs and the soft belly expands, as you exhale the reverse happens and the belly contracts slightly again. When the belly is moving more than the chest, the diaphragm is working, the breath is more full and you'll be surprised how much calmer and more refreshed this can make you feel.
It takes time and a little effort to break down old breathing habits. It needs 10-15 minutes a day set aside to work with the breath. The most effective practice I have ever found is lying on the floor on your back, the knees bent, feet flat on the floor and hands resting lightly on the lower belly feeling the movements. Try to keep the inhale and exhale the same length and slowly slowly with practice start to relax that belly.
And the best way to relax the lower abdomen enough to allow the diaphragm to work to its full potential is to relax tension elsewhere in the body, especially the face. Let go of the tension in the teeth, jaw, tongue, eyes and the point between the eyebrows. Soft face, soft belly.... and enjoy breathing again!
Wednesday 19 March 2008
Mantra
Last night I taught a class that culminated in the "So-Hum" mantra. I'm always a little nervous teaching mantra because I'm never sure how my students will react to it. I really should know better. I have never yet taught a class where nobody has joined in and last night my students chanted loud and clear!
Mantras are sounds that are meant to reflect the energy of the divine within us all. The word "mantra" itself is made up of two sanskrit words; "man" -- to reflect, "tra" -- agent of. An agent of reflection. A practice that helps us to bring our attention inwards, leading us towards self-study.
They can be complicated Sanskrit poems or simple monosyllabic sounds. The "So-Hum" mantra falls into this later category. It simply means "I am that" confirming and affirming our existence in the universe. It is non-religious, non-denominational and feels rather wonderful to chant. Beginning sitting in a comfortable cross legged position with the hands in chin mudra (forefinger and thumb together, backs of the hands resting on the thighs) we listened to our breath. Then, allowing the arms to rise up and lower down with the rhythm of our breath we chanted "So" and then "Hum" on alternate exhalation for about 10 rounds, eventually coming to sitting still again and hearing the mantra internally. The mind will come to stillness as there is nowhere else to go except deeply into the essence of the sound, other thoughts can dissolve into the vibration of the chant.
But what has this to do with scoliosis you ask?! Well simply put mantra helps us to extend the breath. Initially we extend the exhale as we make the sounds longer and longer, which in turn automatically helps us to extend the inhale. By the time we come back to sitting in stillness, the chant an internal vibration, our breath is long, steady and even; so important for those of us with limited thoracic capacity.
Mantras are sounds that are meant to reflect the energy of the divine within us all. The word "mantra" itself is made up of two sanskrit words; "man" -- to reflect, "tra" -- agent of. An agent of reflection. A practice that helps us to bring our attention inwards, leading us towards self-study.
They can be complicated Sanskrit poems or simple monosyllabic sounds. The "So-Hum" mantra falls into this later category. It simply means "I am that" confirming and affirming our existence in the universe. It is non-religious, non-denominational and feels rather wonderful to chant. Beginning sitting in a comfortable cross legged position with the hands in chin mudra (forefinger and thumb together, backs of the hands resting on the thighs) we listened to our breath. Then, allowing the arms to rise up and lower down with the rhythm of our breath we chanted "So" and then "Hum" on alternate exhalation for about 10 rounds, eventually coming to sitting still again and hearing the mantra internally. The mind will come to stillness as there is nowhere else to go except deeply into the essence of the sound, other thoughts can dissolve into the vibration of the chant.
But what has this to do with scoliosis you ask?! Well simply put mantra helps us to extend the breath. Initially we extend the exhale as we make the sounds longer and longer, which in turn automatically helps us to extend the inhale. By the time we come back to sitting in stillness, the chant an internal vibration, our breath is long, steady and even; so important for those of us with limited thoracic capacity.
Monday 10 March 2008
Breathe with me...
Ancient Hindu proverb say that we only have so many breaths in our body, all living creatures only have so many breaths in their body. When the breaths are up so is our number. Little creatures, small dogs, rabbits, guineua pigs, who breath 15 to the dozen live much shorter lives than their more deep breathing counterparts; horses, large dogs, humans.
If true, this makes the deep even full yogic breath even more important for a long and healthy life. When it comes to those of us with scoliosis it is certainly food for thought. Scoliosis, as we have seen, tends to go hand in hand with a lower volume of thoracic capacity and the chronic pain that scoliosis sufferers live with means they have a tendency to breath in short gasps, hoping to relieve that pain.
Short, chest breaths and retention of an inhale when we feel pain is a natural reflex action. But what help is it really? Long exhalation and full relaxed breath, engaging the diaphragm so that the lower belly expands on an inhale and contracts on an exhale is far more useful and trains us to lengthen our breath, thus taking longer to use up our lifetime's worth of breaths.
What more reason to practice a daily pranayama routine? It doesn't have to be complicated. It can be as simple as sitting or lying with the hands on the lower belly feeling the movement of the diaphragm under the palms of the hands, pushing against the hands on an inhale, releasing away from the hands and ensuring that the inahle and exhale are of even length. This then allows the body to get used to this pattern of breathing; eventually using it automatically even during stressful or painful times.
If true, this makes the deep even full yogic breath even more important for a long and healthy life. When it comes to those of us with scoliosis it is certainly food for thought. Scoliosis, as we have seen, tends to go hand in hand with a lower volume of thoracic capacity and the chronic pain that scoliosis sufferers live with means they have a tendency to breath in short gasps, hoping to relieve that pain.
Short, chest breaths and retention of an inhale when we feel pain is a natural reflex action. But what help is it really? Long exhalation and full relaxed breath, engaging the diaphragm so that the lower belly expands on an inhale and contracts on an exhale is far more useful and trains us to lengthen our breath, thus taking longer to use up our lifetime's worth of breaths.
What more reason to practice a daily pranayama routine? It doesn't have to be complicated. It can be as simple as sitting or lying with the hands on the lower belly feeling the movement of the diaphragm under the palms of the hands, pushing against the hands on an inhale, releasing away from the hands and ensuring that the inahle and exhale are of even length. This then allows the body to get used to this pattern of breathing; eventually using it automatically even during stressful or painful times.
Wednesday 5 March 2008
It's been a while....
... since I last posted. Blame work and all the yoga teaching for that. I kind of lost momentum somewhere along the way. However, as this blog's sister blog says, I'm on the verge of blessed change. The transitionary period between full on, full time, full stress legal work with long commute plus teaching to part time job and teaching expansion. We'll see...
So let's slip back into this gently with some thoughts on the breath.
"Breath is the key to ultimate emancipation" - so states the Hatha Yogapradipika. The Upanishads likewise relates "prana" in the form of breath with the universal "Oneness".
The idea of getting to the point where us everyday yogis feel ready to allow our pranayama practice to provide a bridge between the individual self and the universal soul may seem like something so far in the future, or even unachievable. So let's start smaller.
When practicing pranayama in your yoga class, even if it is just a gentle inhale and exhale to begin or end a hatha class, or the sound of ujjayi in an Astanga Vinyasa class, listen to your breath as part of the breath of the others in the room. Imagine yourselves all inhaling and exhaling together. As one. Your breath becoming a small part of a bigger whole.
And soon your breath will unite not just with your movements, not just with your mind, but with those around you - and not just those in your yoga class, bringing with it compassion and empathy.
So let's slip back into this gently with some thoughts on the breath.
"Breath is the key to ultimate emancipation" - so states the Hatha Yogapradipika. The Upanishads likewise relates "prana" in the form of breath with the universal "Oneness".
The idea of getting to the point where us everyday yogis feel ready to allow our pranayama practice to provide a bridge between the individual self and the universal soul may seem like something so far in the future, or even unachievable. So let's start smaller.
When practicing pranayama in your yoga class, even if it is just a gentle inhale and exhale to begin or end a hatha class, or the sound of ujjayi in an Astanga Vinyasa class, listen to your breath as part of the breath of the others in the room. Imagine yourselves all inhaling and exhaling together. As one. Your breath becoming a small part of a bigger whole.
And soon your breath will unite not just with your movements, not just with your mind, but with those around you - and not just those in your yoga class, bringing with it compassion and empathy.
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